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Overcoming Social Anxiety and Shyness — Step by Step

Shyness and social anxiety can range from mild to extremely debilitating. They can stop people from developing friendships, working, and even going anywhere in public. Many well-known figures have experienced social anxiety — including Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Eleanor Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson, Harrison Ford, Brad Pitt, Michelle Pfeiffer, David Bowie, David Letterman, Nicole Kidman, and Jim Carrey. The more you learn and understand it, the more you can feel in control.

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Journal

How To Practice Eye Contact Without Feeling IntenseEye contact can make an ordinary conversation feel highly exposed when you live with social anxiety or strong shyness. Looking at someone’s face may trigger…
What to Do When an Exposure Exercise Feels OverwhelmingExposure practice can be one of the most effective ways to reduce social anxiety, yet it can also feel intense at first. You may notice a racing heart, tight…
Starting Small With Your First Social Anxiety ExposureSocial anxiety can make ordinary interactions feel loaded with danger. Saying hello, asking a question, or sitting near unfamiliar people may trigger intense…
Building a Fear Hierarchy for Exposure PracticeSocial anxiety can make ordinary interactions feel like high-stakes performances. Speaking in a meeting, making a phone call, greeting a neighbor, or eating…
How to identify your personal social anxiety triggersSocial anxiety rarely appears in exactly the same form every time. You may feel tense before speaking in a meeting, avoid making phone calls, or become highly…
Why safety behaviors keep social anxiety aliveSocial anxiety often feels like a problem caused by difficult conversations, judgmental people, or the risk of making a mistake. Yet the habits used to prevent…
Healthy and unhealthy self-criticismMost people have an inner voice that evaluates their choices, performance, and relationships. A degree of self-judgment can help you notice mistakes, act…
Rewriting Your Inner Script for ConversationsConversations can feel difficult when your mind narrates every pause, facial expression, and word choice as evidence that something is going wrong. A simple…
How to stop predicting the worst in social situationsBefore a conversation, meeting, phone call, or social event, your mind may begin writing a painful script. You might imagine being judged, saying something…
Challenging the thought everyone is judging youA flushed face, a pause in conversation, or a slightly awkward sentence can feel like public evidence that something is wrong with you. When social anxiety is…

Explore the Shyness and Social Anxiety blog for more articles and insights.